Just a sign of the times.

“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”

― Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/change

2020 was suppose to be THE year! It was the symbol for a new beginning, rebirth, and a clean slate….but, 2020 had a different vision for how this year would go. February the world started to hear of this strange disease that was running wild in China. Some called it the Corona Virus, Covid-19, or the Novel Corona Virus of 2019. Most Americans didn’t think the virus would even reach the United States. Yes, I was one of those people that just brushed it off like a stupid teenager with the attitude of that’s not my problem and just continued on with my life. Well, then March hit and the virus was in the United States and America took a moment, but then continued on with their own life. Then March 15th hit and the country started to close. Some states softly closed; limiting people in stores and enforcing the use of wearing mask. Other states did a full lock down. Stores closed, restaurants shut down, salons, gyms, yoga studios, you name it, they closed. I live in Illinois where we had a hard shut down. The lives of all Illinoisan’s as we knew it was over as the state prepared for the lockd won. I was forced to close my doors not knowing how I was going to pay my bills, how would I keep my business going, and just how was I going to adapt to this new change?

The reality of COVID is that a business I built up for the past seven years crumbled in about 4 months. And….it fucking sucks. It just sucks. Point Blank, End Of Story! I had absolutely no control over this and it sucks. I had to and continue to grieve the loss of my business, lively hood, and dream. But, the silver lining is that I am safe and Corona free (for the moment).

With the virus rapidly spreading and the number of cases started to climb again (could this be the second wave?) and states start to open up more and more, I was forced (with some personal circumstances going on in my own life) to make a few massive decisions. So, I decided to step down from teaching any in person classes (not including outside) and switch to being strictly an online content creator. This means online yoga classes, Facebook live streams, Instagram lives, and really utilizing the different social media platforms. Starting an Etsy Shoppe dedicated to my Eclectic Witchcraft, visit: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWitchsAfterHour?coupon=BLESSEDBE20 for 20% off. I also got the opportunity to enroll in a Yoga Therapy Program, which I has always wanted to do. This will allow me to work in a more medical, mental health, and therapeutic setting.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli

https://www.countryliving.com/life/entertainment/g5153/positive-quotes-about-change/?slide=7

As, I am excited to let go of what my life used to be and come into what I know the universe has been preparing me for. I am sad. I am sad to let go of what I thought I needed to do with my life. But, I embrace it the change. I let go of the fear I had for myself. I let go of creating the a version of myself that I thought everyone wanted me to be. I embrace the badass, plussize, curvy, mouth of a sailor, woman I am. I embrace and look forward to cultivating my own authenticity and shedding the fear of what use to be. I let go of the fear and I embrace living in the moment.

I am excited to acually start being the authentically, PG-13, plus size woman I am. Buckle up butter cups, the journey has just began. Hold on to your tits and here we go.

Happy Wednesday! Namaste & Blessed Be.

I. AM. PLUS. SIZE

Plus-sized women shouldn’t think of themselves as a size. They should think of themselves as women with rich goals in life. Size doesn’t mean, really, anything. You can carry your size with pride and dress in a way that you like. ”    

Donatella Versace

The secret is out….I am a plus size woman. You see me when I walk into rooms. You hear me when walk. You know that I can not find any clothes in stores that are cute and comfortable. You may pay attention to what I do, how I do it, and why I do anything and everything.

Do I hate being plus size? No, I don’t. Do I enjoy the extra weight on my body? No, I don’t. Am I healthy? Yes, yes I am. Do I have a thyroid? No, I do not. Do I struggle with inflammation due to fibromyalgia? Yes, I do. Do I also have a form of narcolepsy? You fucking know it. And do all of these medical conditions cause weight gain? Oh baby, yes they all do.

You maybe a little intimidated by me, but really I am just someone that would give you a *consensual and platonic* hug. I mean no harm, but I will take no shit. Don’t call me out for my size. Don’t tell me I can’t do something, because I will prove you wrong. Even if that involves having tears in my eyes and sweat coming off my forehead you will be proven wrong.

It’s frustrating that I can’t go into a store and buy cloths like a normal sized human would (I know there are some plus size stores, I am aware). It’s hard to have to think before you do something. Like, will my weight affect this activity or will I break something…A normal human would not have to think about any of that. But, again I was made to be larger than smaller so…..I just roll with what life is throwing at me.

Dating is and has been interesting…..I would have never guessed that so many thin men would like a thick, plus size, and fluffy woman. I don’t know if it is my confidence or my good looks. Is it how I present myself or is it that I am taboo? Behind close doors I am the sexiest thing that ever walked the planet, but out in public I am the ugliest thing to ever walk the planet. I will never know, but then again who really knows what actually dating is anymore?

When it comes to my health…..people think that I am a slob that eats cheeseburgers and deep fried snickers everyday of my life. This is false. I eat healthy. Salads, high protein, coffee (lots of coffee), water…..you know the basic healthy living situations and staples. I work out as much as I can. This is limited due to the chronic pain I am in most days. But, swimming and yoga have been my go too for the past year. Have I seen the weight go down? No. But, do I feel better? Oh fuck yes I do. My goal is to keep at tweaking my health plan until it works for me.

At the end of the day I am a person, a breathing, living, HUMAN BEING. I have feelings, thoughts, and dreams. I aspire for life to be better than it is. I want to be the best version of me possible. I want to find love. I want to have success. I want to be happy.

I want to do this and have people not worry that I. AM. PLUS. SIZE.