A Supermoon, the month of February, & Fibromyalgia walk into a bar…….

If you are looking for an uplifting I am sorry this is not one of them.  As we reached the end of January my emotions go all places that are associated with sadness and anything that could make me happy doesn’t….I just tend to go through the motions and hope for the best.  So, if you have made it this far and want to continue…sit back relax and figure out how the fuck I make it through everyday without killing everything.

On the last day of Jan 2018 the universe decided to have a supermoon/redmoon/bluemoon/lunarEclipse which sent me into the biggest, most intense, most painful flare up of my fibromyalgia I had ever experienced. I didn’t know my body could revolt this much causing myself and my stressed out mother to contemplate going to the ER. For those who know me personally understand that my pain tolerance is high, higher than most due to the chronic pain I have experienced in and through the passed 3-4 years. But, I have always been able to work through it. This was different. It was a constant burning, aching sensation in my back, chest, and shoulders. My hands were numb and it hurt to move. My mother tried to console me to try and not raise my blood pressure more, but nothing would help. It got to the point it hurt to inhale and exhale. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but finally after 5 hours of this, I fell asleep and woke up 75% of the way better…..and as I finish this post I’m right back on track to being 150% better. But, it was scary. I have never and don’t want to be in that position again. I am 26 years old and should be able to take on the world and the reality is I can’t and I have to come to terms with this.

One of the biggest reasons that I despise the month of February is the passing of my older brother. Three years ago on the 21st of February my older brother Johan unexpectedly passed away. For those who don’t know my older brother struggled with depression, anxiety, and addiction for close to 10 years. He was and will forever be my best friend, the nicest man I know, and the best older brother I could have ever asked for. He was gentle, kind, caring, and just a teddy bear. I was beyond lucky to have him for 23 years of my life and I miss him every moment of every day. The pain of loosing someone doesn’t leave, it doesn’t get easier, time allows us to adapt to the grief and learn what the new normal is. He is fantastic in life and in death. And for everyone that asks if I miss him, here is my response: of fucking course I miss him, I’m a human with feelings (damn this is nice to say).

So, now you know during February when you see me just know I’m trying my best. I’m trying my best to keep it together and moving forward and maintaining some sense of sanity (even though mine is not around anymore). I am trying my best. I am trying to survive each day. And I am just trying to be a normal human (this is forever impossible). Just know I’m putting whatever I have into each day to deal with my life.

I am forever grateful for my jobs, for my life, and for who I am as a person. I wouldn’t change anything even though some days seem impossible. Thank you for reading, know that you are a special human, and we are all just trying to make it this existence.

Until next time, stay bendy.

Leah

A much needed break…

When working at so many places putting in 10-14 hour days and feeling like life has hit you in the face and leaves you wanting to crawl into a hole and slowly whither away…and let me tell you it finally did me in. I was exhausted , overworked, and not making hardly any money after paying bills. So, I had to re evaluate some aspects of my life. What was working, what wasn’t working, and what needed to change so I could be living a more successful life. So, what did I do? I quick one job and got hired at another place, decided to beef up my yoga schedule to try and get more reliable income (still working on that), and decided to just pay off two credit cards in full draining my back accounts. Some things were done in the spur of the moment, others were done with a lot of thought and consideration. I have also had to shift how I think and feel about certain aspects of my life. How I do thinks? Can I do them better? How can I take care of myself better? And the best part is…I still don’t have any answers to any questions, I’m still lost in this crazy thing called life and I have a feeling this is going to be a permanent state of mind for a while. Do I enjoy being in this confusing state, no absolutely not. But, I know that it is necessary for me to be here; even though I may not enjoy any part of it. But, with this weird state, I am in and with myself just working my life into the grave, I know that good things are on the horizon. That if I can hold out for just a bit longer, things will be happier and healthier in my life. I’ll quote journey for a second, “don’t stop believing,” and that is just what I intend to do. Until next time everyone. Light, love, & Namaste.

Leah

COME TO A YOGA LIVE STREAM!

Hello Everyone!  I hope you are all having a wonderful day!  I am inviting you all to join me for my live stream TODAY MAY 2nd through PowHow.com at 9am CST.  The live stream will be an all levels, beginner friendly, and all sizes and ages yoga class!  AND THE BEST PART IS IT IS ONLY $4!  If you are interested Click HERE to register.

CAN’T MAKE IT TO THE LIVE STREAM? NO PROBLEM PURCHASE THE VIDEO BY CLICKING HERE

Hope to see you on your yoga mat…..literally!  Thanks for being awesome!

The Curvy Yogini

It’s all about balance….

How do you achieve balance in a world of chaos when there is no room for error or time off?  Hello Yogis, I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!  The past week has been quite interesting; from hurting my back to wanting to sleep all the time, and trying to act normal when I am no normal at all!!!  So, while I was on the struggle bus of life this week I was trying to achieve balance and get into a regiment…..but, of course that was not achieved this week.  The idea of organization and balance is not a familiar word to myself or my life style.  Yes, I struggle to keep myself organized, it’s a terrible existence (not really its just a bit more difficult).  So I dedicated this week to help de stress and take some time for myself.  I indulged in a lot of video games, napping, and catching up on some paperwork I have neglected for to long.  It actually felt extremely comforting being home as much as I was.  As I reflect on the past week I know as I look at my upcoming months of work and life I need to schedule in some time for myself to kick back and relax; before I combust and explode.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!  Until next time, stay bendy!

The Curvy Yogini (or Leah)

Schools out FOREVER!?!?!?

READERS, BLOGGERS, AND YOGIS ALIKE!!!!  I have some news that will knock your socks off!!!  After 6 years of schooling I am finally DONE!!!  Those who are just tuning in, here’s a little more information about my schooling adventure.  For the past six years I have been a college student.  I have gone to school for my Associate’s Degree, Bachelor’s Degree, Yoga certification, and now Certificate in Therapeutic Massage.  During my schooling career I have only taken one semester off alternating between part time and full time status.  It was a long haul, but I can finally say that I am officially done with my college career.  And it feels amazing!!!  Granted I have to study and take my State Exam for Massage Therapy, but I am done with college.  The feeling is surreal and just weird.  But, now I can focus on my yoga business a bit more and just take time to relax and get back to my own yoga practice, meditation, and sauna routine; while also getting caught up on all the work I need to do on my website and finding out how to be an actual adult.  I will be back to my normal weekly posting, thank you all so much for all your support and patience it means the world to me!  I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your weekend!!!  Until next time, I will see you on your yoga mats!

Namaste,

The Curvy Yogini (aka Leah)

GET YOUR ZEN ON!!!

Namaste Yogis and Yoginis,

Come ZEN and BEND it out tonight at the Sugar Grove Park District in the Prairie Building from 7pm-8pm for Zen Yoga!!!  This is a restorative type yoga class that focuses on breathing and getting rid of stress in the body, by stretching and relaxing.

Hope to see you in class!!! And may the 4th be with you!!! 

The Curvy Yogini ❤️ 

 

SYCAMORE ARE YOU READY TO RELAX?!?

Registration is open for my two sycamore park district vinyasa flow yoga classes!!!! The first vinyasa flow class is 8am-9am & the second vinyasa flow class is 5:15pm-6:15pm. Register at the park district building or online at: http://www.sycamoreparkdistrict.com. Classes are no more than $8 per class!!!! If you have any questions let me know!!!! Hope to see you on your mat!!!!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/0b9/64578296/files/2015/01/img_4033.jpg

It’s The Most Stressful Time Of The Year

It seems that right after Halloween the Christmas MADNESS hits, people forget about Thanksgiving, and stores have had Christmas merchandise out since August.  With all of this pressure to go to every store that has a sale, figuring out who to get gifts for, what house the holidays will be at………and the list could go on and on and on and on and on….  With all of these different things floating around in our minds, disrupting any peacefulness that once lived there…..the stress starts to build and the holidays loose their meaning a little bit.  Yoga has helped me so much actually remember the meaning of the holidays.  It’s not what you get gifted or what you are gifting to someone, but it’s the time spent together…laughing, smiling, enjoying each other’s company.  During the holidays especially I get really overwhelmed and stressed out because of large gatherings with my family.  This is due to all of my medical stuff I have and it can be exhausting to talk to family members, friends, even my boyfriend.  Which sucks, because I love seeing my family, friends, and my man….but, sometimes it takes to much of a toll on myself to do it.  So I use yoga to center myself and to find a little bit of sanity that I keep in the back of my mind and when things become difficult I just use a little piece of that sanity and zen out.  I also look and use different feet and arms positions….even neck and hand/finger positions (mudras) to help promote energy and happiness.  And if that does not work, than I just excuse myself and lay down for a bit….allowing my body to physically destress.  Because you need to make yourself happy before you can shine some happiness on other people.  Peace, Love, & Zen

I’ll see you on your mat,

The Curvy Yogini

One Fish, Two Fish, Crescent Lunge, & Prayer Twist

Inhale lift up your right leg, exhale low lunge plant your lifted foot between your hands, and inhale crescent lunge. As you get settled in your crescent lunge, notice how your thigh, hips, and shoulders are feeling. What sensations is your body giving you? What part of the body is stretching? Are you remembering to breathe? Try to deepen your breath a little more. Use the breath to relax the body or a body part.
Anyone that has been to a yoga class had heard versions of any of these phrases. Being a yoga instructor I say many of these phrases in my yoga classes. The phrases are suppose to help the yogis in class relax and come to a nice, zen, and calming place. But….does it really help? Or do I just sound like an idiot saying it? I was thinking about this as I was teaching my plus size yoga class tonight. As I was teaching and saying the different phrases and my students are being rock stars grooving and moving from pose to pose, I couldn’t turn my brain off. I kept thinking about what I was saying, the words didn’t flow like I wanted them to…to me it wasn’t believable it just sounded scripted and emotionless. Maybe I’m over thinking my yoga classes? Or maybe I’m overthinking everything else. It seems like once my stress level lowers my overthinking sky rockets and trying to find a happy medium has been difficult. The only solution I have found is get as much sleep as possible…….oh and drink lots of coffee….. Not permanent solutions but solutions non the less a solution. But, my lovely readers I have anatomy homework that is calling my name. Thanks for reading and what do you overthink? Have a wonderful week!!!

See you on your mat!

The Curvy Yogini

IMG_3892.JPG

Inhale Light & Exhale Darkness

Ever had that moment where you are able to get into that certain pose you have been working on for the longest time? Remember how you felt? Do you remember everything about that day? Well, I had that moment a few weeks ago with dancer’s pose. I filmed a vlog about it a few days talking about my experience. So, please watch the video and subscribe if you would like. I will have a written blog up next week! But, for now…stay calm, create zen, & be you ❤
See you on your mat!

The Curvy Yogini 🙂